I almost constantly speak in tangents, I can’t keep focused on one line of thought. Well - it’s the same line of thought - it’s just that there’s several lines all at once in like layers. I mean, I don’t see anything in one line. I see it as like a circle, with lots of layers and everything dotted up —— this is so hard to explain!
Erm…how do I explain this? Basically, sometimes it doesn’t feel right when I’m talking not to include the context, because it seems to matter. I also extrapolate too much - explain things too thoroughly. But when someone says something inflammatory and I know how to answer back - how to explain why they’re wrong, it’s like a big gobstopper in my mind. I can see all of it - everything - as if it’s a whole. And that’s because it is a whole, really, but you can’t tell everybody everything at once can you? It includes the basic formula or theory that explains the cause of an issue, that’s right there in the middle, but then you’ve got the many million effects that tiny seed creates and how they effect people in different ways and then those effects join together to make almost a circle….yada yada yada….and then you’ve got how all of that is related to the way society is formed anyway….yada yada yada….
I know that sounds like nonsense, but I was trying to just give you an idea of what it looks like in my head, because it’s very difficult to define. It’s like I see everything all at once. I know it breaks down into separate bits and I can see those bits but they’re so interconnected it takes me a while to try and organise it into speech, because I find it difficult to take the separate bits apart - because they’re connected - so they don’t exist on their own…oh this is so hard to explain!
If I’m speaking freely, it tends to sound like a lecture of the world and the universe. It’s all about the same issue, but it’s like - everything. I can’t just give a succinct answer, I keep going off on tangents because I say something that sends a little DING in my brain and I think “Oh I absolutely must say this and use this example because it’s important” or just “I must say this because this explains how the pattern envelopes so many other things than you would think it would….” So I talk in constant, constant, constant tangents. And I never stop talking because there’s so many things to say about it. And when I’m not talking, that exact thing is happening in my brain (usually stopping me from sleeping). Everything is symbiotic. That’s the word I’m looking for.